Adolescent
For all of my vain running to and fro
Trying to bring myself up
Trying to mother myself
Trying to boast of my own adultness
I find that I am a blatant display
Of stress...faliure...and far less than perfection.
How can one have been so blind?
I water myself...
And I die.
I am puerile. Immature. Adolescent.
I am nothing that I want to be.
This is my honest-to-god heart:
I am talented...but useless.
I am intelligent...but foolish.
I am friendly...but selfish.
I am young and offended.
I have a future...but no life.
I want to be a vessel.
I realize that therein does my only value lie.
My undeserved "second chance."
But at the same time, despite all my boasted logic...
I am unable to give myself up.
It's for my good. I need lightning.
I'm waiting for the breaking.
--May 14, 2005
Trying to bring myself up
Trying to mother myself
Trying to boast of my own adultness
I find that I am a blatant display
Of stress...faliure...and far less than perfection.
How can one have been so blind?
I water myself...
And I die.
I am puerile. Immature. Adolescent.
I am nothing that I want to be.
This is my honest-to-god heart:
I am talented...but useless.
I am intelligent...but foolish.
I am friendly...but selfish.
I am young and offended.
I have a future...but no life.
I want to be a vessel.
I realize that therein does my only value lie.
My undeserved "second chance."
But at the same time, despite all my boasted logic...
I am unable to give myself up.
It's for my good. I need lightning.
I'm waiting for the breaking.
--May 14, 2005
